Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
