You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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