Don't make out with my wife yet
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
