Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Randomize
