I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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