we made out on top of his cat.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
