It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
