8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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