I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I have already put on my inside pants.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
