I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
