WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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