you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
