there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
