The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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