TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
