I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
