I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
