It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Randomize
