Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
