Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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