Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
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I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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