i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
