I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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