It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
