Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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