Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
