I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
