is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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