I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
