Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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