The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
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hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
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Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug