did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO