only if we run a train.
done.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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