Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
PANTIES FOUND
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
