I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
