You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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