Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
