Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize