My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
