she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
two words...techno handjob
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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