Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
