Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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