We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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