I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
