Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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