i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
