So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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