I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
