It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
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