I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
