Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
