i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
