So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
