dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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