Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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