dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
