In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
