Whod you bang
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
