Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize
