Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
