I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Randomize
