Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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