in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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