So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
