we have officially lost it.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
