i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
