I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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