he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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