HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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