We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
