This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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