is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
