She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Dick very happy bro
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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