My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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